Thursday, December 27, 2007

Doooods...Best Name EVER!!!

I can't believe the names of bands kids listen to these days. What happened to names like Black Flag, The Clash, The Who, The Jam, etc.?? The list goes on endlessly. I guess we ran out of "The" names so we're stuck with this crap.

Lets review some of the worst of 2007!!!

Cute Is What We Aim For - There was actually a group of dudes (of questionable sexual orientation) who sat down with each other after "jamming" or however they got their start and decided that a good name for their band would be "Cute Is What We Aim For". Suck.

The Devil Wears Prada - I'm not sure, but wasn't this a movie that came out THIS YEAR!?! You couldn't have waited guys? Why not "Casablanca" or maybe "Weekend At Bernie's 2"??

Cobra Starship - First there was Jefferson Airplane. Then there was Jefferson Starship. Then just Starship. Then there was all over print hoodies and flat brimmed caps. Then there was Samuel L. Jackson and "Snakes On A Plane". Then there was Cobra Starship. You see where this is going? It's not a good place, I can assure you. Before you know it you're wearing fake "bling" and rockin' a keytar in your band.

Plain White T's - This one really bugs me because the official name of the band includes the apostrophe. The apostrophe indicates the possessive nature of the subject "Plain White T". This name clearly isn't that well thought out. Its supposed to read "Plain White Tees", as in t-shirts. You can argue all you want that it refers to something else, but the truth can be found online, specifically in this snippet I pulled from the Star Gazette :

"We started the band in 1997 when we were just kids coming out of high school. We had some ideas for band names, but they were all pretty bad. Plain White T's was just kind of the least bad out of all of them."

Here's a tip to all you would-bes out there : don't name/start a band when you're just out of high school.

Children 18:3 - That's not a bible verse. There's no 'Book of Children'. Just sayin'. Oh and your music FUCKING SUCKS.

Drop Dead, Gorgeous - In addition to already being a movie title and a cliche phrase, the whole die-kill-yourself-suicide-stabbing-blood thing when naming your band or your songs is so played out I can (and probably at some point will) write a seperate blog about it.

Shh... This Is A Library - I would say something but I don't want to talk over all that reading going on.

Boys Like Girls - O RLY? I guess I can now name my new band "Brian Likes Bacon". Or how about "Grass Is Green"? Maybe, in this specific case, these dudes should have given it a little more thought.

If you need proof that any of these bands exist please contact me. I can send you the appropriate links. There's no fucking way I'm linking to any of this nonsense on here.

(update/editor's note : I'm fully aware I was in an awful ska band with an equally awful name. That was over 10 years ago. I'm 31 now. I'm now allowed to make fun of kids as much as I want.)


Anonymous said...

You forgot "The Number 12 Looks Like You"



Lesa Monster said...

How about Kind of Like Spitting?

There are so many bad names... This blog may need a sequel.


Alix! said...

Small Towns Burn A Little Slower is another to add. The list could go on forever.