Monday, December 10, 2007

CLASSIC DIAZ : This Sucks : The Musical (and some things I shouldn't have to re-explain) (orig. 11.02.06)

How is it that no matter what I want to do there's always naysayers in the mix?

In the following Friends A,B, and C do not represent any specific friends of mine, nor do they represent the same people from example to example. Everyone's got Friends A,B,and C. Read on :

- I would like to go Bar A. Friend A says Bar A "sucks". Friend B agrees that Bar A sucks. Friend C, while admitting that he/she has never been to Bar A, will concede that they "heard it sucks". Conversation will go back and forth, generally poking fun at me for suggesting such an outlandish idea, and then friends A,B,C and myself will go to the Green Eye which we can all agree does not suck.

- I would like to eat some food. I find what appears to be a decent (not really kick ass, but tasty) Thai place near my house one day while on a random search for lunch. I suggest this to Friend A, who proceeds to tell me that he/she won't eat there because "I got sick from eating there last time. That place sucks." This is a person who's diet consists of snacks, beer and drugs. Weird that you can't digest your food. Friend B joins in and agrees that place is "tasteless and gross" and therefore also "sucks". Friend C doesn't care because all he/she can eat anyway is bread, due to what may be a legitimate medical condition. Conversation/argument ensues about the merits of said Thai place for 10 minutes. We finally decide to just get Hot Doug's instead. Friend C eats a bun. *

- I am going to a show. Its rare that I do this, but I'm going to spend my hard earned cash and be a civilian at a concert. The show is going to cost me 15 dollars and takes place at the Double Door. Friend A immediately makes fun of me for going to see this band saying, "I used to listen to them forever ago, but now they suck". Friend B is overwhelmed by the amount of money I'm spending on one show. In Friend B's world $15 can feed a family of 4 for a week. Friend B also expresses their distaste for the Double Door because they got kicked out of there for being excessively drunk, so now that place will forever "suck". Friend C just wants to know why I spend so much time in Wicker Park with mystery friends that they don't know about, and me not inviting them "sucks". I procrastinate while I listen to everyone throw the word "sucks" around a bunch. We eventually buy a 30 pack, sitting around with the television on mute while we listen to and discuss earlier albums of said artist which do not "suck". I save 11 dollars.

- I have to go to work. For me work is 5 miles away at the Riv or The Aragon Ballroom. Friends A, B, and C all get upset when I'm about to leave for work right before everyone's about to go hang out. They all tell me "the Riv/Aragon sucks". Yes, I agree it sucks. I agree with this one, but can we not dwell on this... I have work in half an hour.

Speaking of which.... I feel like I re-explain what I do for a job while I'm at home probably 5 times a day. And, its not like I meet 5 new people a day who are instantly intrigued by my line of work (believe me, its not intriguing). I'm talking about the same people all the time - friends a, b, and c. I know what they all do for a living and the kind of hours that they work. Why can't they remember mine? Why do I have to explain where I'm going and why I have to be there so early/late in the day?

And, THAT, my friends, sucks!

* this scenario plays itself out mostly when Asian cuisine is suggested, because apparently the stereotype that Chinese food is made of cats and garbage still flies.