Drugs... do them

I'm glad I found this again. Having your computer stolen isn't so bad when you save the important stuff online.

"I Yahoo'd it" just doesn't have the same ring

NERD ALERT...

Does anyone know how it's possible that in the year 2008 people are still using Yahoo! to do any sort of web searching? Somehow there is still a good chunk of people using Yahoo! for their day to day searches, which is bizarre....



This whole thing should just read "Google 50 billion searches, 100%". It makes me think of my tax guy who when trying to find the IRS website typed the ENTIRE ADDRESS into the Yahoo search box, hit "search" and clicked on the first site that came up. Amazing.

Are there really still people out there who use computers who don't know how to use the internet?? I guess I can make fun of them now on here. It's like making fun of the Amish.

Icy Spicy!!!

She loves wrestling and falling in love in a pub. Ladies and gentlemen.. Icy Spicy Leoncie!!





In other news, I have another blog, called Have You Ever? Never! If you find yourself eligible to be a subject of this blog, shoot an email over to haveyouevernever@gmail.com with your thing-you've-never-done, a little story, first name, age and location. There's 2 posts on their now... You'll get the idea.

Not here to make friends

I wonder if these people actually mean that they don't want to make friends of complete strangers on a competitive reality TV show, or is this just verbal diarrhea (or as Josh K. put it 'mouth farts') at this point. This phrase may possibly be the most uttered phrase in television right after "come on down, you're the next contestant on price as right" or "here's johnny!".

Take it off the list!

I saw a classic Disney animated movie for the first time in my life tonight.

You are reading that correctly. I'm not talking about Pixar movies which I have seen before. I'm talking Sword In The Stone.

It took me nearly 32 years. Now what do I have left? I guess I've done it all. This kind of sucks. I was going to start a new collective submissions blog about ordinary things people had never done in their lives (ex : Dee has never eaten a potato chip) and I was going to kick it off with my non-Disney streak. I'm thinking I'm going to start it with that anyway.

On a completely separate note, here's what 4th of July is like in my neighborhood. Keep in mind this is past midnight and it's right in the middle of a really busy part of the city of Chicago.


G-bless America and good old fashioned explosives!

Happy 4th of July, courtesy of R. Kelly

Star Spangled Banner: R. Kelly - Funny videos are here

Chopped and Screwed Batman does GNR... FTW!!

This would be endless on a heavy dose of cough syrup and maybe a couple of joints. Seriously, what IS this? Do NOT click this if you don't have exactly 6 minutes and 10 seconds to spare. Actually, you can watch like 1 minute of this and get the idea...

Los Simpson

This kind of made me shit my pants, and I may sleep with the lights on tonight. I have no idea what is going on in this thing. My spanish isn't THAT good.

Let's make fun of ME for a change

I dug this one out of a hidden spot on YouTube. Yours truly, in my more pop-punk days. Right around 2:00 take note of Derrick Sherman, now of Brand New, losing it. Good times. Some of the best times.



Feast on this while I come up with more things to hate!! I can take it as well as I can dish it out.

Good advice and my weekly mental list

Here are some things you should think about while you're out there in the wild...

- NEVER trust someone who is REALLY into Primus, lest you wind up hanging out with these people





- the same goes for 30+ year old males wearing Crocs. I shouldn't even need a picture to explain that one, but I will provide one anyway to drive the point home


- Taco Bell needs a British franchise. Someone open one for those poor souls. Late night kebabs and Wagamama isn't going to cut it forever.

I shall add this to the list of things that I think about at least once a week. This list as it stands right now is :

- Dave Righetti of the 1986 Yankees breaking the saves record. 46 saves in one season! Unheard of at the time.

- 1986 baseball as a whole.

- 1986 in general.

- The difference between ben wa and baoding balls and how not to confuse them.



(SEE! I told you!)

- Wuzzles vs. Popples vs. Furfels. The last one I'm sure existed, but as of now I can find NO information about them. I know my sister had a Popple.

- The video for Herbie Hancock's "Rockit" which used to make me crap my pants. Give me a break, I was like 7 or 8 when this came out. Who knew jazz/hip-hop fusion musicians could make such creepy videos!?!


If you can manage to read through the comments (and who CAN read through all these YouTube comments of subhuman intelligence these days?) you'll find I'm not alone.


This blog post is going nowhere fast so I'm going to end it now.

The 2008 SIHTB Fashion Spread!

Be on the cutting edge!! Be fashion forward at all times!! Be an idiot!

Apparently headbands are no longer for your neck. They are to be worn on your head in varying degrees of stupidity. Take a look at these fine examples for guidance.





"WHAT?!?! They can roofie LOLLIPOPS now?!?!"




CAUTION : headband in progress!




This next guy couldn't decide if he wanted to be the Karate Kid or to 'just do it'.




OMG, Macaulay Culkin wears a bullet belt on his head (sort of... this caption shit is hard)




These aliens flew in on their jetpacks, attached as many retarded accessories as possible, drank redbull and vodka 'til near blindness, and were spacefucked by Steve Aoki when it was all done.






Well, now you have the headband down, and that's all well and good. But what about some permanent statement I can make. Something that will REALLY make mom and dad cry? Something that screams, "My only goal for my early to mid twenties is to be fodder for a party-night picture website". Ladies and gentlemen... HAND TATTOOS!


If he had a third hand with 7 fingers it would say "LONELY"




I feel like she's giving me the finger even more than normal people!






Whoa, whoa, whoa.... "I can't get hand tattoos", you say. "I'll get fired from my job at Borders, and I JUST picked up Saturday day shifts so I can go out and pose for pictures all night!" A good substitute for hand tattoos is friends. Even if they're people you don't know that well. It won't matter. The amount of drugs and alcohol you're about to consume means you're going to fight or fuck at least one of them!


Here's a new game. It's called "who's going to anally rape who first?" My money is on Misfits guy giving it to ol' red. We will not talk about 'marker-on-the-face' guy




Oh, look everyone, it's De'mar from the Plain White T's, the singer from My Chemical Romance, and some guy who works at Reckless






And, finally, the ironic, cheap, crushed, empty, recyclable-for-refund dreams of the cutting edge of Chicago, all packed away and ready for disposal, or at least for another night of dancing to 80s music.





As usual, direct all hate mail to the comments.

YES, I do know some of the people in these photos personally. I don't care about feelings. DUH!

(ALL PHOTO CREDIT, except the first one, TO : Clayton Hauck, who somehow made a living taking pictures of these people. He wins. These people do not.)

I'm very happy... with what I just did to you

Why is this news to me? Why is Ross sending me clips with John Mayer? I have no idea, but as of right now I have watched the video for that 'body is a wonderland' song a bunch and that 'scream at the top of my lungs' joint. I met John Mayer at Live Earth this summer. He seems like a nice enough down to earth guy.

What I didn't realize is John Mayer is fucking hilarious. Here he is pwning Ryan Seacrest on what may be a live red carpet broadcast. I need to learn enough Japanese and be famous enough to do this to someone one day...


Then there's this thing he made. It's similar to "Boom Goes The Dynamite" which is so old I'm not posting it here...


Well, it's looks like I like John Mayer. Please direct all concerns and comments to the comments section.