Thursday, May 15, 2008

The 2008 SIHTB Fashion Spread!

Be on the cutting edge!! Be fashion forward at all times!! Be an idiot!

Apparently headbands are no longer for your neck. They are to be worn on your head in varying degrees of stupidity. Take a look at these fine examples for guidance.

"WHAT?!?! They can roofie LOLLIPOPS now?!?!"

CAUTION : headband in progress!

This next guy couldn't decide if he wanted to be the Karate Kid or to 'just do it'.

OMG, Macaulay Culkin wears a bullet belt on his head (sort of... this caption shit is hard)

These aliens flew in on their jetpacks, attached as many retarded accessories as possible, drank redbull and vodka 'til near blindness, and were spacefucked by Steve Aoki when it was all done.

Well, now you have the headband down, and that's all well and good. But what about some permanent statement I can make. Something that will REALLY make mom and dad cry? Something that screams, "My only goal for my early to mid twenties is to be fodder for a party-night picture website". Ladies and gentlemen... HAND TATTOOS!

If he had a third hand with 7 fingers it would say "LONELY"

I feel like she's giving me the finger even more than normal people!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.... "I can't get hand tattoos", you say. "I'll get fired from my job at Borders, and I JUST picked up Saturday day shifts so I can go out and pose for pictures all night!" A good substitute for hand tattoos is friends. Even if they're people you don't know that well. It won't matter. The amount of drugs and alcohol you're about to consume means you're going to fight or fuck at least one of them!

Here's a new game. It's called "who's going to anally rape who first?" My money is on Misfits guy giving it to ol' red. We will not talk about 'marker-on-the-face' guy

Oh, look everyone, it's De'mar from the Plain White T's, the singer from My Chemical Romance, and some guy who works at Reckless

And, finally, the ironic, cheap, crushed, empty, recyclable-for-refund dreams of the cutting edge of Chicago, all packed away and ready for disposal, or at least for another night of dancing to 80s music.

As usual, direct all hate mail to the comments.

YES, I do know some of the people in these photos personally. I don't care about feelings. DUH!

(ALL PHOTO CREDIT, except the first one, TO : Clayton Hauck, who somehow made a living taking pictures of these people. He wins. These people do not.)


Rosie said...

I can't say this without sounding like an arse-kisser, so I'm just going to pucker up:

Diaz, you are quite possibly one of my favourite people on the internet. Your posts are invariably hilarious and totally echo my disdain and cynicism for pretty much everything.

I salute you, sir.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog so much it's ridiculous. You always say what you want when you want, it's amazing. Always good for a laugh most of the time! Keep it up...

Alix! said...

I shamelessly browse this site every now and then and they post some pretty horrid "party pix". Most recently, some shots of girls peeing on the street. Classy shit.

I'm beth. said...

when were head bands for the neck?

Evan Bovee said...

diaz, i just laughed alot.
-big rice

themightymendoza said...