Dear person wearing a bluetooth in line at the pizza place

Dear person wearing a Bluetooth in line at the pizza place,

Unless you are some sort of secret agent who needs to have their hands free at all times to perform martial arts at the drop of a hat, or unless you're driving a car, which I assume you're not since you're in the pizza place, please refrain from using your 300 dollar covert operations Secret Service ear piece to talk drivel on your cell with your acquaintances.

It's disconcerting to be standing next to someone who says "excuse me", assume that it's directed towards me and then be faced with a blank stare and a one-sided conversation about your cat or whatever the hell you were talking about.

Also, please refrain from looking at me like I'm the one who's fucking nuts because I'm baffled that you're talking to yourself, because that's exactly what it looks like you're doing.

Technology sucks sometimes, even though I wrote this on my iPhone sitting right behind you while you slobbered on your pepperoni slice and continued to talk. I didn't realize they made hands free sets so you could have an excuse to finally talk with your mouth full in public.

Take care and brush your hair,
B.D.