Blogging from the other side of the world is hard

I don't sleep much in Japan. I'm 16 hours ahead of where I call home in a completely different day most of the time. I stay up at all hours drinking sake and smoking cigarettes in front of my computer screen in my hotel room, organizing photos I took in the last 8 days of some of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Unfortunately, most of the time I don't have internet because it costs about a bazillion Yen for 24 hours, and I don't make that much in a week. The economy sucks even in the future.

I promise I will post pictures of this amazing trip on my Flickr account as soon as I have internet for long enough to do so. In the meantime enjoy this assortment of ridiculous signs, ads, and random stuff I have come across in this country I love so much...

Arigato

The posts will be a little more sporadic now that I'm overseas. Japan to be exact. I went to my favorite bar on planet Earth last night - Rock Rock in Shinsaibashi, Osaka, Japan. After a full night of drunken drinking I stumbled into a Family Mart looking for some after drinking food and wouldn't you know it they had something ready made for me! It even had a little picture of beer on the package. There's nothing in the package because I ate it already...

Japanese "We Are The World"

Look past the overtly racist blackface and the mangled English...the woman who does Cyndi Lauper is totally dead on. Shiiiiiiiiit.

Crazy and being insanity

I know it's taken FOR-FUCKING-EVER for me to write a new blog. Give me a break, I've been insanely busy. Okay, maybe not "insanely" busy, but, I have been to quite a few countries since we've last spoken.

One of them was Japan.

I don't know what it is about this magical land. Going there is like going to the near future. Somewhere about 2 and a half years from now. The kind of 'futuristic' that will make you go, "oh, I could totally see that happening in a couple of years!" That is, of course, if you can decipher any of the crazy signs that seem to have been written using Google Translate. For a country that's so advanced, you'd think they would have at least one good English translator hanging around.

Here's something that I think is trying to instruct people on using the train ticket machine :



As if that weren't enough it's followed later on by this sign, which I think is supposed to clarify the first one...



I would totally pay 1000 yen to have my face cut...



...and I would definitely go tanning here...



Finally, there's this shirt. While walking around Osaka marveling at the many clothing shops in Amerikamura (AKA American Village, which by the way, has very little to do with America other than having a statue of liberty atop one of it's buildings) I came across this very amazing and very small shirt. I would have bought it for myself or someone else, except it was size "I" and I'm pretty sure I don't know what that means.



If you can't quite read that it says this : "Violation Hamburger. Rhyme Island Hamburger it will make you crazy and being insanity rym"

Sure. The only thing making me being insanity is trying to understand what the hell any of it means. And, don't even get me started on the "L" and "R" mix-up thing.


Still, I love it and can't wait to go back. It's good to be back on the blog horse. If you're not satisfied with this post just take a look at this Japanese puppy. Everyone loves puppies...