The 2008 SIHTB Fashion Spread!

Be on the cutting edge!! Be fashion forward at all times!! Be an idiot!

Apparently headbands are no longer for your neck. They are to be worn on your head in varying degrees of stupidity. Take a look at these fine examples for guidance.





"WHAT?!?! They can roofie LOLLIPOPS now?!?!"




CAUTION : headband in progress!




This next guy couldn't decide if he wanted to be the Karate Kid or to 'just do it'.




OMG, Macaulay Culkin wears a bullet belt on his head (sort of... this caption shit is hard)




These aliens flew in on their jetpacks, attached as many retarded accessories as possible, drank redbull and vodka 'til near blindness, and were spacefucked by Steve Aoki when it was all done.






Well, now you have the headband down, and that's all well and good. But what about some permanent statement I can make. Something that will REALLY make mom and dad cry? Something that screams, "My only goal for my early to mid twenties is to be fodder for a party-night picture website". Ladies and gentlemen... HAND TATTOOS!


If he had a third hand with 7 fingers it would say "LONELY"




I feel like she's giving me the finger even more than normal people!






Whoa, whoa, whoa.... "I can't get hand tattoos", you say. "I'll get fired from my job at Borders, and I JUST picked up Saturday day shifts so I can go out and pose for pictures all night!" A good substitute for hand tattoos is friends. Even if they're people you don't know that well. It won't matter. The amount of drugs and alcohol you're about to consume means you're going to fight or fuck at least one of them!


Here's a new game. It's called "who's going to anally rape who first?" My money is on Misfits guy giving it to ol' red. We will not talk about 'marker-on-the-face' guy




Oh, look everyone, it's De'mar from the Plain White T's, the singer from My Chemical Romance, and some guy who works at Reckless






And, finally, the ironic, cheap, crushed, empty, recyclable-for-refund dreams of the cutting edge of Chicago, all packed away and ready for disposal, or at least for another night of dancing to 80s music.





As usual, direct all hate mail to the comments.

YES, I do know some of the people in these photos personally. I don't care about feelings. DUH!

(ALL PHOTO CREDIT, except the first one, TO : Clayton Hauck, who somehow made a living taking pictures of these people. He wins. These people do not.)

The Nuge Hates Basketball

A few days ago while waiting for the Diversey bus to take me to a very unpleasantly long visit with my tax preparer (that's a whole OTHER blog), I started reading the many fliers in the window of the church on the corner.


For some very strange reason this church is obsessed with hunting. Judging by the pictures I could see that they offer a great number of youth oriented camping, outdoors, and hunting trips. One of the testimonials for these hunting retreats came from none other than the Motor City Madman himself, Ted Nugent.

I've always been torn about what to think about Ted Nugent. On one hand I respect his right to hate vegetarians (I deplore the concept of it), hunt animals, and say what everyone else wants to say but can't because they're not The Nuge. On the other hand he is also a marginally talented, gun-toting, redneck who pretty much stands for everything that I can't stand, including stating that he gets a "full predator spritual erection" from hunting "small children [and] scared women". So, I guess I kind of hate him in reality... although I stand firm on the vegetarian thing. Read here for a doctor's take on it : Why I'm Not A Vegetarian







ANYWAY, here's what Ted has to say about the youth of Chicago and what he'd rather see them doing, according the one page testimonial in the window of the corner church by my house.


"I am proud of what the church and Pastor Dan are doing. Bringing the Spirit of The Wild to the windy city. Chicago youth need other alternatives besides basketball, xbox, and gang banging." Which translated means Mr. Cat Scratch Fever believes that the solution is to get those 'bangers off the street with their guns and get them maybe, ya know, hunting women or something.

Also... basketball? Really? No comment on that. No comment at all.