Heart Attack Grill

This is where I want to die. If I eat here I probably will.

Detroit crackhead funeral

Somewhere about 3:06 he really nails it.

Helen Hunt on PCP

The title of this is wrong. She's not on crank. It's angel dust... PCP. It gives you the strength of ten men, the ability to fly out of windows, 161 episodes of a sitcom with Paul Reiser. Everyone else in this video is a fucking stoned moron. The smoked doobie J's or whatever they called it...

Just another day in D.C.

Inflatable George W. Bush, with piles of shoes to throw at it, as seen in Dupont Circle, Washington, D.C.

I love this country.

Star Wars according to some girl

This is exactly what I think Star Wars is about. I have only seen the first one and part of Empire Strikes Back. As far as I'm concerned this a beautiful synopsis.

Saying goodbye, why is it sad?

This should turn out perfectly. I'm sure everyone has well wishes for our soon-to-be former President Of The United States.

From Karl Rove's Twitter:


Bye GWB!

Japanese "We Are The World"

Look past the overtly racist blackface and the mangled English...the woman who does Cyndi Lauper is totally dead on. Shiiiiiiiiit.

David Lee Roth x Songsmith!!!

It finally happened. Two of the greatest things the internet has to offer have come together. I may cry.

David Lee Roth x Songsmith


Yeah, I know I write about David Lee Roth a lot.

Now because my neighbor has woken me up

It's 4:26 AM and my drunk downstairs neighbor has woken me up by playing Stiff Little Fingers "Suspect Device" at top volume while screaming out nonsense to her friend. I can hear this all clearly through the heat vent in my room, and none of it makes any sense. Because of this my force of habit is to grab my computer. This is the first thing I found and it made me think of her ...

I'm sold

I'm starting a band based solely on this product. Lisa is going to be my singer/main songwriter. I may even have Dad in the band.

If you can make it past even 2 minutes of this I commend you.

Owning the "other product"

Growing up, I didn't always have what the other kids had. While everyone was playing Pac-Man on their Atari, I had an Intellivision. Some people ate at McDonald's; I got Mom's homemade burger ala Eddie Murphy Raw. While I realize now that these were character building experiences and actually Intellivision was fucking badass in retrospect (Helllllo... BURGERTIME anyone?), it's definitely a slight disappointment as an 8 year old kid who's not eating happy meals.

Enter the SanDisk slotRadio.



Can you imagine the utter sadness as a young kid on Christmas who wants nothing more than an iPod opens up this fail of an invention? Here's some smashing features of this extremely well thought out "other product" :

- No back button. Like that song you just heard? Wait 'til the other 1000 songs on it play through, or just press skip 999 times. IT'S THAT EASY!!!

- Fixed queue. What that means is.... no shuffle. Also, it starts back at the first song every time you turn it on.

Read more about this highly sought after device that all the kids want here!

Note to parents : Kids don't want this thing or anything like it. The above was sarcasm. Get on "the google" and learn about it.

Old People News

Remember when your mom sent you that forwarded e-mail about the "super date rape" drug, or about how you could buy human flesh from a company called ManBeef? (you can't.) Why can't mom and dad just use the internet like normal people? Why are they so caught up in things that are so clearly fake, and how do they fall victim to all those scams?

It's because they're OLD and old people can't use computers like we do. They get lost trying to get "into their Google". They think their bank website comes PRE-INSTALLED on their computer, which is why they can't get a new one or their finances will be lost forever. We're talking about people who grew up in a day and age when typing on ANYTHING was considered a high brow skill.

Finally there's a news program just for them!