Dear person wearing a bluetooth in line at the pizza place

Dear person wearing a Bluetooth in line at the pizza place,

Unless you are some sort of secret agent who needs to have their hands free at all times to perform martial arts at the drop of a hat, or unless you're driving a car, which I assume you're not since you're in the pizza place, please refrain from using your 300 dollar covert operations Secret Service ear piece to talk drivel on your cell with your acquaintances.

It's disconcerting to be standing next to someone who says "excuse me", assume that it's directed towards me and then be faced with a blank stare and a one-sided conversation about your cat or whatever the hell you were talking about.

Also, please refrain from looking at me like I'm the one who's fucking nuts because I'm baffled that you're talking to yourself, because that's exactly what it looks like you're doing.

Technology sucks sometimes, even though I wrote this on my iPhone sitting right behind you while you slobbered on your pepperoni slice and continued to talk. I didn't realize they made hands free sets so you could have an excuse to finally talk with your mouth full in public.

Take care and brush your hair,
B.D.

LOLbama-ing all the way to the bank

History made. People are happy. The world rejoices. Change! Hope! Free Money!! (insert promise here)!!

We have a long way to go America. Don't jump the gun just yet. It's not like it's going to be fixed overnight. Just like Bill Murray once said in What About Bob?, baby steps.

I'm back!!!!

I know it's been FOREVER since I have posted anything on this blog. I don't even know if anyone is following this thing anymore.

The following has happened since I last posted on here in August :

- I turned 32
- I toured the entire U.S., and most of Europe
- I started smoking pot again for the first time in 4 years
- I started watching Mad Men
- I pretty much ditched Myspace in favor of Facebook
- I bought about 15 more pairs of sneakers
- I had a post featured on Blog Of Unnecessary Quotation Marks

I have been completely uninspired to write about anything, and to be honest with the touring going on I really haven't even had time. That is until tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you for your listening pleasure, straight from Peoria, IL... .MR. JOHN DAKER!!

Water of the month

vs.



Maybe it's just me, but isn't it the same stuff? I have been drinking municipal water in New York and Chicago practically all my life. I also drink it pretty much everywhere else in the U.S., Canada, U.K. (although that can get kind of funky), and Japan. Water is water.

Yet this exists :


The source for "fine waters"? What does that mean?!?! The world around me has gotten quite confusing. They even have a water of the month club!!

Guitar Hero dropout!

This kid is going places!! Read up on Blake Peebles who at 16 is dropping out of school to focus on playing Guitar Hero!!!!!



From the article : "It's a small plastic thing, resembling a guitar in basic appearance only.

But Blake Peebles brings energy to the room when he slides the strap over his skinny shoulder and steps atop the wooden box that serves as a stage.

As the music begins, Blake quickly presses buttons on the guitar in time to a speed-metal tune blasting from the giant TV. It is an odd sensation, to watch a young man control the sounds of a rock song with a toy instrument, but this is "Guitar Hero," one of the most popular video game franchises in recent memory. Blake is one of the better players in the country."...(read more)

Way too long (that's what she said...)

It's been one month and one day since I last wrote anything on here. I've been busy, and I'm sure you all don't want to read about the goings on in Regina, Saskatchewan or Butte, Montana. I can assure you that you don't want to hear about tent destruction due to steady 30 MPH winds, gravel parking lots, intermittent-net, drinking beers at 10am while playing scrabble in 95 degree heat, or how many baby wipes it takes to properly bathe an (overweight) adult human body.

Six more days and I can get back to writing normally, checking the internet for things that annoy me and videos that I can't stop watching.

In the meantime read Stuff Black People Hate because it's awesome, and it's only got a few more weeks of existence.

I apologize for the delay. I apologize to all 12 of you.

Drugs... do them

I'm glad I found this again. Having your computer stolen isn't so bad when you save the important stuff online.

"I Yahoo'd it" just doesn't have the same ring

NERD ALERT...

Does anyone know how it's possible that in the year 2008 people are still using Yahoo! to do any sort of web searching? Somehow there is still a good chunk of people using Yahoo! for their day to day searches, which is bizarre....



This whole thing should just read "Google 50 billion searches, 100%". It makes me think of my tax guy who when trying to find the IRS website typed the ENTIRE ADDRESS into the Yahoo search box, hit "search" and clicked on the first site that came up. Amazing.

Are there really still people out there who use computers who don't know how to use the internet?? I guess I can make fun of them now on here. It's like making fun of the Amish.

Icy Spicy!!!

She loves wrestling and falling in love in a pub. Ladies and gentlemen.. Icy Spicy Leoncie!!





In other news, I have another blog, called Have You Ever? Never! If you find yourself eligible to be a subject of this blog, shoot an email over to haveyouevernever@gmail.com with your thing-you've-never-done, a little story, first name, age and location. There's 2 posts on their now... You'll get the idea.

Not here to make friends

I wonder if these people actually mean that they don't want to make friends of complete strangers on a competitive reality TV show, or is this just verbal diarrhea (or as Josh K. put it 'mouth farts') at this point. This phrase may possibly be the most uttered phrase in television right after "come on down, you're the next contestant on price as right" or "here's johnny!".

Take it off the list!

I saw a classic Disney animated movie for the first time in my life tonight.

You are reading that correctly. I'm not talking about Pixar movies which I have seen before. I'm talking Sword In The Stone.

It took me nearly 32 years. Now what do I have left? I guess I've done it all. This kind of sucks. I was going to start a new collective submissions blog about ordinary things people had never done in their lives (ex : Dee has never eaten a potato chip) and I was going to kick it off with my non-Disney streak. I'm thinking I'm going to start it with that anyway.

On a completely separate note, here's what 4th of July is like in my neighborhood. Keep in mind this is past midnight and it's right in the middle of a really busy part of the city of Chicago.


G-bless America and good old fashioned explosives!

Happy 4th of July, courtesy of R. Kelly

Star Spangled Banner: R. Kelly - Funny videos are here